No Shower will ever be enough

So why are you here?

Why did you not go to the church?

Her answer: the church doors were locked and I did not know how to get in.  I could see people walking around, but no one heard my silent cries for help.

Why did you not knock harder?

Her answer: I didn't want to be rejected.  I've been rejected for so long by people, that I was afraid to be rejected by God.

Church wake up..these buildings are to be a safe place, a place of refuge 7 days a week.

We are  group of hurting people fear of rejection.  Church please don't reject us also.  Open your doors.  Open your doors and walk with us.  Don't condemn us, we can do that on our own.  Don't look at us with those eyes; you know those eyes that tell us we don't fit in.  We know we don't, you don't have to judge us too, we already feel dirty enough. No shower will ever be enough.  The stank, we have created by our choices, you remind us that it will always be there by the way you walk to the other side of the hallway or sidewalk.

We just need someone to hold us and tell us they love us without expecting anything in return.

We need someone to walk with us in relationship that isn't afraid to get our stink on them.  That stench we smell, that permeates our skin because we've  worn it for so long.....

***If you are this person in this story, please know that Jesus, has not and will not reject you. If you are afraid of being rejected but need someone to talk to please reach out.***

Are you a crown or a cancer?

Today's blog is just for women: 

In Proverbs 12 it says: 
A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones

Worthy, worthy of what? What is the definition of worthy? Honorable, valuable.

I think one of the challenges today is that "things", are so attainable and easily thrown away that relationships start to become "things" also.

We also start looking for our self worth in things and what we have to offer.

There use to be a simpler time when women were admired for their inner beauty not their outer beauty.  There was a time when wearing clothes that covered our bodies and not being out on the streets looking for love was admirable. There was a time when you waited for the guy to come around, and you did not throw yourself at them EVER.  You didn't go looking for it.  There was a time, actually, when courting, was the norm. There was a time when being a virgin on your wedding night was the norm not the exception.

Why do we think today, that we can't be like a woman of yesteryear?  Why do we think that by walking the streets, searching the Internet,going to the clubs, posting pictures on websites in clothing that should have been outlawed, that we will get men worthy of us being a "crown"....  Instead of being a crown you will be a jewel he will add to his already filled crown of other women that meant nothing.

Why do we not see ourselves worthy to be a crown?  Why have we let the world of advertising tell us that "unless you are this size" or "doing this in the world", you are less than?  Why do we think that as soon as the guy says hello we need to jump in bed with them?  Why do we not see ourselves worthy of being that crown to our husband, key word husband....why do we worry that we will miss something if we settle down and start a life with just one man?  Why do we think that our lives will be empty if we become a woman of a time gone by?

What would our relationships look like, what would our children learn if we became the women of yesteryear?

So my question is; are you a crown or a cancer?

And if you are not married, what are your actions teaching your children? And with your actions, are you going to catch the attention of a righteous, God-fearing, man?

Complacency and Marriage; A Deadly Combination

This last week our Pastor taught on the creating of Eve for Adam.  The joke was that God was a good God because he brought Adam a naked wife.   He also stated some more serious statements like Eve was made out of Adams RIB not his foot bone to be less than and not from the head to be grater than....

But the RIB to fit into.  We are a helper, helpmate or are we?

Many times I think we get into marriage thinking we are in love but in reality it's an infatuation.  The word love gets used too frequently these days by young teens and young adults.  In my opinion the word LOVE has become diluted to mean:  today, I will do what you ask and be with you  but when something better comes along, I'll see ya later.  When that "better" comes along; then all the faults that were there to begin with that you accepted, now become reasons you can't "love" them anymore.

This last week I watched a movie by Tyler Perry called "Temptation".  I won't tell you the whole story line but the main part I want to point out is how we get complacent in our (in this case) marriage, and we take each other for granted. We forget what each others love languages are, we forget what makes them laugh, we forget what makes them happy, we forget what makes them ALIVE.   And we forget who we are, then one day someone or something gets introduced into our lives and we realize how unhappy we are.

There are a few reasons for complacency:

• We grew up together and it becomes just a part of our daily routine
• We get into a routine and just think the other person will always be there
• The other person will take my crap because he/she married me

And the list could go on and on....but the truth is complacency and taking your marriage and your husband/ wife as an individual  for granted is just what Satan wants.

So here are a few practical ways to get out of the "routine" of marriage

• Be spontaneous, now this will be hard if you have a Type A, Choleric, super first, or first born personality....and spouse if are married to that type of personality then you may have to modify your spontaneity.
• Be intentional
• Make sure your spouse feels appreciated
• Don't talk to everyone about your spouse and their shortcoming
• If you don't know what your and your spouses love language is find out:      http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/                       
• Now that you know both know, do them....watch out though your natural action will be to do the love language that you are
• Talk, uninterrupted talk....put away the electronics, shut the TV off and talk.
• Go for a walk
• If you can afford it, get away to a place where there is no TV, Internet, or cell service.
•  What did you used to do when you first met and had no money but at the end of the evening you were full because you truly cared for the person you had just spent the past hours with
•  Add your own: