I have taught this week in places where those sitting in front of me have become the expectation of those speaking into their lives.
Then to top the week off I got a not one but two messages that just sent me over the edge.
As we drove home we contemplated going out for a drink and dinner or just going home. We chose going home.
So oatmeal and a cup of coffee it was. We plopped down on the couch just shaking our heads in disbelief of the week that had just ended.
"Let's just watch a movie", I said.
"Ok".
So I went over to our movie selection and started silently reading the movie titles. I chose one and put it in the DVD player.
For the next 90 minutes I was lost in a town called "Grady, South Carolina". It's a very small town of about 1 square mile. As one of the characters says " you can't poop in this town without everyone knowing what color it is".
For 90 minutes I also did not have a care in the world. I was engrossed in someone else's make believe world of Hollywood.
As the movie ended my pain came back. The remembering of all the things that had happened this past 5 hours let alone all week. But as I googled Grady South Carolina, I found out the town never existed. It actually was another town in another state, re-named to make a movie. There was no hope of ever finding this town to have this blissful feeling in real life.
Then it hit me as I longed to go back into that movie and get lost again.....how easy it is to "self-medicate".
People get caught up in this cycle called life's pain, bumps and bruises. And depending on those around them could very well start their self- medicating that will end with an addiction to drugs and alcohol. If they are a recluse or feel they can not share, then their addiction could become cutting, pornography or even food.
Last night I really felt that God gave me a glimpse into self-medicating for a couple of reasons.
1) To better understand those we work with
2) To understand how easy it is
The challenge becomes for those who see their only hope is in self-medication to make the pain go away, because that's what the world sells: hope in sex, hope in attention, hope in drugs/alcohol, hope in money, hope in a different destination.
I wanted the pain of this week to go away so bad that I wanted to lose myself. Lucky for me my hope is not in my week but a God who allows weeks like this so that I become more and more dependent upon Him and not myself.
My hope is in the One who made this awesome sunset...
