Do I really want to be a Paul?

Today it hit me,(after my banter back and forth with God, see Facebook status),what would it had been like if Paul had put his heels in the sand after the first beating and imprisonment?

Saul was headed to Damascus with letters from the high priests addressed to the synagogues asking for their cooperation in the arrest  of any followers of the Way he found there. Prior to that it says "Saul was uttering threats with every breath and was eager to kill the Lords followers". 

We know the story that Jesus stopped him on that road, made him blind and told him to go to into the city and that he would be told what to do.

Now enters Ananias, a believer. The Lord speaks to Ananias and tells him exactly what to do. 

But Lord....do you not know who that is?..., Ananias's response is a story for another day...because I think we do this a lot too.  

The Lord says:" go for Saul he is my chosen instrument to take my message to the Gentiles, and to the kings, as well as to the people of Israel.

Now here is a part of the verse I never remember reading..... " and I will show him how much he must suffer for my names sake".

Now through out Acts we see: Jews tried to murder him. He was put in prison after being stripped and severely beaten. 

But as I skimmed through Acts I found the 20th chapter: " I don't know what awaits me, except that the Holy Spirit tells me in city after city jail and suffering lie ahead. But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by The Lord Jesus ~the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. 

I so relate to this: but my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned to me by The Lord Jesus.....the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. 

Do I want to be beaten again? Of course not....but I am not going to live in fear that he could show up in a class at any given time.  I will complete the course set for me long ago.  Ephesians 2:10  

They aren't JUST Words....

This week my husband called me out on something and when he did I was not too happy.  But the more God has had me marinating on it.....I realize it is actually very important. Funny how God does that. 

Then I was in the College Sunday School class and that was when I knew I needed to be obedient and write about it. 

Today the first verse we read in class was: 

             Proverbs 12:1 To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction.

Then as we opened the book and Luke 16:10 was written:

      If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest   in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities. 

When we started this ministry and I had to write my first report for the judge, I was given this advice "only the facts and no personal inflection". 

The other day Rob called me out on a text.  He said "that's not how it read".  He was correct, I put my own inflection in it because I was already upset about something else  and the text just set me off.  

So instead of just stating the facts, I added inflection.  Then Rob said "words mean things". I will paraphrase the rest of the conversation as I now see it today: by adding inflection when telling someone what someone else said or even wrote, adds a lack of trust that you are telling the truth in other situations. 

I was upset when he was telling me this and then he brought up the verse Luke 16:10, and he paraphrased it " if you can't be trusted with the little, how can you be trusted with the bigger things?"  

I have heard this verse for many years and always thought it meant: money due to the next verse in Luke.  Luke 16:11, states    

And if you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven? 

But the more God convicted me of trust and words; the more I started praying for my own sin.

So something that was not meant for harm, the inflection I put into the text made it sound like the person was being vindictive. So if this had gone unchecked, think about the consequences that could have happened.  Consequences could be as simple as a cold shoulder towards this person by my husband, to calling this person out.  Which brings me to the next verse 

Luke 16:12 

And if you are not faithful with other people’s things, why should you be trusted with things of your own?

What things?  Words, character, integrity just to name a few. 

So why make this public? Because sin is sin and breaks your relationship with others but more importantly God. 

And I want to be transparent that even socially acceptable sins, are sins and breaks God's heart. And as I want to live a transformed life I want to be obedient to Gods leading and nudging. 

Road Closed!!! NOT

This past week if you watch my news feed you would have seen this status:

You know that point where you are so tired of praying for God to answer,

and you are trying to be obedient and not go back to the cross where you laid it and pick it up and try to "fix it" yourself....

Yep I am there.

God took me to Haggai earlier this week. Today during my quiet time I was in Haggai 2.  

‘Does anyone remember this house—this Temple—in its former splendor?

How, in comparison, does it look to you now? It must seem like nothing at all! 

But now the Lord says: Be strong, Zerubbabel. Be strong, Jeshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest.

Be strong, all you people still left in the land.

And now get to work, for I am with you, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. 

My Spirit remains among you, just as I promised when you came out of Egypt. So do not be afraid.’

What first hit me was “Does anyone remember this house…. this Temple…. In its former splendor…. Do you remember when you first became a Christ follower?  Were you on fire to tell everyone about what Christ had done for you?  And today what happened to that Former Splendor. Where is that fire today? 

God asks in the next line “How in comparison does it look to you know”?

As real life happens and we don’t get our prayers answered as we see fit… we let the lies start to slip in and we start to think God doesn’t really care about our dreams and prayers. Then to make matters worse, you start hearing of people getting prayers answered and you are wondering; “What did I do wrong?”, “Why did my prayers not get answered?”  “What’s wrong with me?”

And so we allow the Splendor of who God really is… fade.

Some will walk away from the truth because the grass looks greener on the other side (remember though, that grass is being grown over the septic field). Some will try self-medication: shopping, drinking, drugs, changing something to fit in to a society they don’t want to fit in; but some image consultant said that would get them noticed. 

We need to remember even in our darkest days, when the depression overcomes us, the shame of our past and we want to give up, quit or fix it our self and not wait on God…. We need to read the rest of this verse….

Be STRONG and NOW get to work…for I AM is with me…the Spirit was left as a guarantee to guide and direct… DO NOT BE AFRAID!