Are you running the correct race?

As I started today I realized there was much more I wanted to say than could fit in a Facebook status. 

My Faith verse was Hebrews 12:2 but as my eyes wandered up the page I read the word PERSEVERANCE again which was the word that caught my attention yesterday also.  

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. 

As I read those verses it hit me that as Christ followers we are mandated to follow an example of witnesses that have come and gone. And I know for a fact that we can follow "witnesses" good or bad because we do it all day....the "witnesses" are just called "stars".  

So my first question is who is the "witness" you are following? 

As I read on it says " throw off EVERYTHING that hinders us.  So what is it that hinders you? 

A career?

Friends?

A group you are a member of?

Is it TV, movies, music?

Is it an attitude that your "poop" don't stink so what do I need to fix? 

Is it prestige?

And the list can go on and on.....

But the verse also says "the sin that so easily entangles".... Galatians 5 says: 

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;  idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

How much of these things fit into our daily life? Be honest. If we are a Christ follower then we need to be working on NOT doing these things daily.  But if these things are your LIFESTYLE  then you may need to revisit your relationship as a Christ follower. 

 

Then the verse goes on to say: "let's us run with PERSEVERANCE    that race marked out for us"...

Perseverance is keep on keepin' on even when circumstances tell you otherwise until that time when God tells you to stop. And if you are running the "rat"race....you need to stop and ask God to get you on the right path for the right race because Ephesians 2 says: 

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

And as you run the race God has set for you "fix your eyes on Jesus the source and perfecter of your faith." 

So to end if your faith is NOT on the source and perfecter you are running the wrong race and you will NOT like the outcome. 

So stop and start over today:  

Lamentations 3 

22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

24 

The money pit

 “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.  So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?  And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own?  “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” ~Luke 16

I know this passage is about being trustworthy with a few things but for today's blog I want to take the last part of this verse....

No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

The issue becomes when we trust in money, fame, fortune OVER God. They become our idol, our addiction.  When money, fame, fortune don't make us happy anymore we then add more medication to include drugs, alcohol, sex, a wild lifestyle etc. By this time satan has his claws so deep that you don't feel you could ever be worthy of Gods love that you continue down the slippery slope of destruction til death seems to be the logical solution~ death is NOT the answer.  Relationships with the RIGHT people that will walk with you as they bring you closer to a right relationship with God. But remember they are NOT God, and they can't bring you up out of the pit you are in ONLY God can. 

Psalms 40 talks about God bringing us up out of a pit; but what I want you to see is who called to who? 

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
    and put their trust in him.

If you find yourself in love with fame, fortune and/or money over God please know it's not too late to change your course. God is there even though satan says "it's too late", "you've done too much for God to forgive you", please know those are LIES and Gods loving arms are waiting for you.....you just need to call out. 

Youth....can be used to do great things

God has a way of doing this....and I just have to laugh.

On my way to church God was speaking to me about youth and the state of youth groups today.  Our pastor starts chapter 37 of Genesis with:  Joseph, a young man of seventeen.

And he started in with (paraphrased): "teens you do not have to wait til you are older to get your act together...."

Immediately I thought of the scripture in 1 Timothy (which the pastor then referred to)

 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12

The issue of today is that we see the "youth" as just an older group of kids that need to be cared for and entertained for 90 minutes on Sunday morning and a couple of hours during a midweek session.

What would the youth groups look like if we really taught them to live out 1 Timothy 4:12? 

What if they started running the youth group with this verse as a backdrop. 

What if we started today having youth group time be church and Sunday school time mimicked after "big church" and "adult Sunday School" classes? 

Not about the bigger Lazer tag outing and pizza party.  Or who has the cooler hangout for teens.  

You see teaching in jails gives me a glimpse of where we as a society have failed teens.  We first are hypocritical.  We teach the parents that it's about relationship: turn off the TV, computer, all electronics and play a board game or just talk..... But what do we fill our youth rooms with?  The biggest baddest stero system and gaming system....of course all done in the name of "outreach".

Why don't we get back to the basics....the BIBLE and that's it.  A real life BOOK with paper to take notes.  

So if we actually taught the youth to live out a Godly life today in their youth...

How different would the youth be when they took off to go to a College that wasn't Christian based?

How different would their work ethic be in the workplace?

How different would "boyfriend/girlfriend relationships be?

It's better than Hell

This whole year at church our pastor is preaching the ENTIRE book of Genesis.  Including this past weekend the "Edomite phone book" Genesis 36. From this text our pastor pulled out the fact that even though this entire family unit did NOT follow God, they did have riches.  God did give them things, they just chose not to live for God or about Gods business, our pastor called this "common grace".  

Common Grace is what we all receive by being allowed to breath, work, play and acquire riches here while on this earth. Every human being is given common grace. But with common grace your ability for eternal life with God is non-existent.  This is where saving grace comes in.  Jesus died for our sins so that we may have eternal life, all for the asking by repenting of our sinful lifestyle and changing our behavior. 

So why did this hit me so? Because he went on to talk about complaining. We as Christ followers complain because we don't have....XYZ but the non-believer does have XYZ.  God grants common grace to all....BUT saving grace is given to few Matthew 7: 21-23 

 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

 

Also James 4 where I have been stuck for a week now makes even more sense. 

You adulterous people,don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world (just wanting common grace) becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? But HE gives us more grace (saving grace) 

I also have been marinating on the early verse in James 

When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.  

So as he ended the sermon he reminded us that what we are going through on this earth is better than Hell. 

So the next time I start to say but why God?  I will remember 1 Peter 1:24-25

For, “All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord endures forever.” And this is the word that was preached to you.

Wow...that Bible is heavy!!!

My daughter had been asking for a new study Bible and I told her that I had one to give her.  

Well today after months of forgetting to put it in the car....she came over and I was home.....so I presented the Bible to her.  To which she said as I placed it in her hands, "boy, that's heavy".

Her comment: "boy, that's heavy"...made me think, she's correct, the Bible, Gods word is heavy.  

We sat and laughed and even said "what were you expecting The New Testament with Proverbs"?  To which she said half kidding, "yeah, you know the one you stick in your back pocket and pull it out real quick when you need to reference something".  

From there my husband said "yeah, like the owners manual of the vehicle, you only get it out when there is a question or a problem with the vehicle". 

Now we had our laugh, but I felt a real heavy burden to write this because, even though we laugh, it is true for many.

They think that Gods book is too heavy, so therefore they never pick it up, and they think that Gods words are only to be used to chastise those who are doing wrong.  

Yes that is true it is to be used to chastise those who are doing wrong, but it's a book for those who are Believers. This is a book to be read daily so that we, Believers can act with purpose. 

When Gods word disciplines it's for those that believe in Jesus for their salvation.  It is not a rule book to be followed by those who follow the world, yet many Christians want to use it that way.  

So to you, who call yourself a Christian, I have a question for you....do you open the "manual" daily so that you stay running at tip top performance or is it a manual that only gets used when the lights start dinging, and the vehicle has stopped moving? 

Sidewalks and Needles

A few weeks ago I met a mom. Her life is in shambles due to choices she has made.  DRUGS have been her priority instead of her children. While I was standing there, her youngest came up to me.  I crouched down to her level and she let me pick her up. Not only did she let me pick her up, but she laid her head down and held me tight. I did not think anything about it...kids love me and let me pick them up all the time. Her mother, noticing that she let me pick her up commented to her friend "look, she NEVER does that". Again not thinking anything about it, I finished our conversation and that was the end. 

  

Fast forward to today.

We have not been to our home church in a few weeks due to traveling for conventions and a needed respite after being re-triggered and dealing with PTSD ( see prior blog post)

As I am sitting there,worship band playing, I am singing, I start to feel an oppression come over me. 

Now if you know me, people say I have the gift of intercessory prayer; God will wake me up out of a dead sleep and I will have to pray....sometimes God tells me who to pray for and sometimes not, but the prayers have always been generic: keep so and so safe, guide so and so, etc.   

Well this morning it was totally different... ( and if you don't believe in the Spiritual battles that are unseen, you will probably read this and want to have me committed).

I start to see this little girl from weeks ago. She is running to me. I bend down to pick her up, then I feel the need to pray for her mother and the other single mom that is keeping her children.  

As I am just praying a simple prayer of "God be with them.  Give them strength".  I feel God saying NO, I need you to pray specifics.  

By this time I am crying uncontrollably because as I am singing (the words that I have written below,from Chris Tomlin ) I now have this vision: I am seeing the mom that I met, laying on the sidewalk, a needle not far from her arm and I feel satan right there enticing her.  Now I am singing these words as my prayer to God for her. The oppression was so strong, the prescensce of evil was so prevalent. I felt like I was fighting for her life. 

 

You hear me when I call

You are my morning song

Though darkness fills the night

It cannot hide the light

Whom shall I fear

You crush the enemy

Underneath my feet

You are my sword and shield

Though troubles linger still

Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me

I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever

He is a friend of mine

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

My strength is in Your name

For You alone can save

You will deliver me

Yours is the victory

Whom shall I fear

Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me

I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever

He is a friend of mine

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

And nothing formed against me shall stand

You hold the whole world in Your hands

I'm holding on to Your promises

You are faithful

You are faithful

And nothing formed against me shall stand

You hold the whole world in Your hands

I'm holding on to Your promises

You are faithful

You are faithful

You are faithful

I know who goes before me

I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever

He is a friend of mine

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

I know who goes before me

I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever

He is a friend of mine

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

I found myself singing these words with emphasis....praying her name....changing the words just a little to become a prayer, begging God to spare her. To save her.  

Then we took communion.  I found myself taking the bread and the cup and lifting them back up to God and saying " Lord may they know that this bread that represents Your body is for them also.  And this juice representing Your blood, was shed for them also.  No matter how bad she thinks she is or how awful the things she has done....You are calling for Your child to accept Your forgiveness".  So now I am crying again and we sing this song.....and again I start praying it as a specific pray for my new friend. 

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

This event was so real, the vision was so real.  I was exhausted.  I felt like I had been in a battle.  It hurt me so much for this mom, that I actually found the preachers phone number and texted during church to make sure that this mom was still alive.  

Again I have never had such a huge burden and oppression hit me for someone like this with specificity. And I am not sure why I felt the need to share this event, except maybe someone else needs to know that: no matter how bad your past or your past mistakes, the only step under consideration is the very next step.....and without God in your corner, (accepting Him as The Lord of your life, asking for forgiveness of yours sins, and repenting), success over the shame and guilt will NOT be achieved. You will stay in the cycle of "letting life happen", and you will not be free from your addiction.  

Done living in denial

Just over a week ago I was in Texas at a convention.  It was a great convention with lots of prospects for the 180 Program. 

Everyday I got a little more tired because instead of staying on site we stayed with relatives and took public transportation to and from the event.  It was a great time and I would not change it for the world.  On the last day though, I did not realize how tired I really was until a gentleman had gotten on the train.  He smelled of day old smoke and was very gruff when speaking. He sat down across from me and started asking questions to the gentleman who was sitting behind him. Rob, who was sitting behind me, just placed his hand on my shoulder as he said he could see my whole body tense.  The rest of the ride I tried to busy my mind with other things, it didn't work. By the time we arrived at our stop, I could not breathe and I could not get off the train quick enough.  Trying to hold it together, I was standing in line at McDonalds and couldn't even concentrate long enough to order. Crying just seemed to come and was not something that could be shut off. 

I still had an hour to stand at our booth, smile and talk about ministry; I knew that was not going to be possible without intervention.  Thanks to all of you who prayed that Saturday morning. 

So fast forward through this week:  I worked, I taught, I worked some more and taught some more.  Plowing through the week as if nothing had happened last week. 

I found myself not sleeping, getting agitated and having anxiety. On Thursday I was teaching and I could tell that something was different with this guy that was in class. As we were talking about excuses and living in denial he said that last week he accepted The Lord, because on the first week of class I challenged him to start acting different if he really wanted to be different.  He then stated that he was going to quit "the gang".  He proceeded to tell me the gang he was apart of and I just kept smiling and praying.  

"Thank you Lord, that this man wants to follow You and not the world especially the gang, but Lord the last time this happened, I was beaten up for it.  Lord give me strength to keep plugging away as You have asked me. Lord as I walk, let me walk in obedience and not fear". 

By Saturday morning I was finished. Put a fork in me I am done. I was so fidgety and full of anxiety that I realized I had hardly eaten in a few days and I was just going through the motions of life. 

So why am I blogging about this. Because I think this picture I took today captured the way I felt this past week but did not realize I was allowing myself to live in denial of "I'm ok...I'm a Christian and God is bigger than my problems, so therefore I have no problems". 

 So here are my take-a-ways from this past week.  

1) I HAVE to take time for ME.  

I feel if I take down time then some how I am less than and then I allow the shame and guilt of my past to creep up, start speaking and before I know it, I can fall into a depression. 

2) It's ok to take ME time.

This past week has taught me that I NEED me time. I learned that by living with PTSD, being re triggered and NOT completely decompressing that it allows for a build up that when it blows.....be ware. I felt that time coming this week but I did not know how to deal with it so I shut down.  Shut downs also creates depression. 

3) I also learned this week, that just because it works for you, it may not work for me.....and that is ok.  

Living with PTSD and depression is different for every person.  How it rears itself.  How it affects us.  How it gets dealt with. The thing I learned this week is that by living in the denial that "it does not affect my daily life"; allows for satan to use it more and more therefore keeping me from being productive. 

I know now, that this is a part of my daily life.  It is not an excuse to say see "this is why", but instead it is just a speed bump that I have learned is part of living everyday to the fullest.  

How I respond is how effective I will be in getting to the end of the day with myself in tact or the transmission tore out from speeding over and slamming down on the other side of the speed bump.