Sex for a roof over your head?

She called and said "yes, I am still coming". Waiting patiently I prayed she would come. I really want her to get some new friends. She was late but she came. 

We asked her if she was hungry.  Her response was she really hadn't eaten in a few days, because her stomach was not setting just right.  By the way that is code word for "I need to keep what little money I have for gas in my car, not food in my stomach". 

We took her to lunch our treat. The conversation was light and superficial. It covered topics about how's the new job? How many hours are you getting? 

After dinner was done, she gave me a big hug and said "thank you". 

We all ran for our vehicles as the weather was changing. Settling into ours, my husband said "where is she living"?

With a friend I answered.  He knew by my tone there was more to it than that. "What kind of friend?  And what kind of arrangement?"

I tried to avoid the question because I knew he was not going to like the answer. "She told me the other day that it's an old friend, and she had no where to turn.  He is letting her stay with him, but it's not a good situation and she needs to get out."

"What do you mean it's not a good situation? Does he expect payment?" 

I guess the look on my face told my husband the payment was not of a monetary kind. 

Why do I tell you this story? This happens more than we want to admit. Women get between a rock and a hard place and they finally want to get off the roller coaster....the challenge comes when they try. 

People fail people.  When "Christians" say they want to help...they expect all the behaviors of the past in these women to go away immediately. Reality is, you cannot rid yourself of years of baggage, low self-esteem, low self-confidence,abuse or addictions in a matter of minutes because you have changed the environment. 

Changing the environment is a start, but showing unconditional love through real authentic relationships is long lasting and the hardest to do. 

Most of the women we work with will hurt you, it is a coping mechanism. They will hurt you before you hurt them.  They are used to disappointment and hurt as part of their normal life. 

Also when "Christians" want to help, it's usually on the "Christians" terms.  They don't say it but through actions they are telling the women: "I'm not the one who got myself into this mess, so if you will just do what I say your life will be better." You are correct "Christian" you may not be as bad off:  having to have sex just to pay a bill so your children have food on the table, electricity or a roof over their head... but you have junk in your life just like they do.

It is now February and Christmas is long gone.  This is what trash cans looked like after the "Christians" came to the "rescue" so the child had a very "materialistic" Christmas 

 Where are you today? Do you know where the mom and kids are today that you bestowed all these gifts upon not even 60 days ago? 

I know it's not Christmas and most people have gotten caught back up into the routine of their own life but what about the families you bought gifts for less than 60 days ago? 

What these families need most are "relationships".  Not relationships that bail them out, but relationships that empower them to DESIRE to change so they can one day be a giver not a receiver. 

Let us know if you want to be a change maker? 

Sidewalks and Needles

A few weeks ago I met a mom. Her life is in shambles due to choices she has made.  DRUGS have been her priority instead of her children. While I was standing there, her youngest came up to me.  I crouched down to her level and she let me pick her up. Not only did she let me pick her up, but she laid her head down and held me tight. I did not think anything about it...kids love me and let me pick them up all the time. Her mother, noticing that she let me pick her up commented to her friend "look, she NEVER does that". Again not thinking anything about it, I finished our conversation and that was the end. 

  

Fast forward to today.

We have not been to our home church in a few weeks due to traveling for conventions and a needed respite after being re-triggered and dealing with PTSD ( see prior blog post)

As I am sitting there,worship band playing, I am singing, I start to feel an oppression come over me. 

Now if you know me, people say I have the gift of intercessory prayer; God will wake me up out of a dead sleep and I will have to pray....sometimes God tells me who to pray for and sometimes not, but the prayers have always been generic: keep so and so safe, guide so and so, etc.   

Well this morning it was totally different... ( and if you don't believe in the Spiritual battles that are unseen, you will probably read this and want to have me committed).

I start to see this little girl from weeks ago. She is running to me. I bend down to pick her up, then I feel the need to pray for her mother and the other single mom that is keeping her children.  

As I am just praying a simple prayer of "God be with them.  Give them strength".  I feel God saying NO, I need you to pray specifics.  

By this time I am crying uncontrollably because as I am singing (the words that I have written below,from Chris Tomlin ) I now have this vision: I am seeing the mom that I met, laying on the sidewalk, a needle not far from her arm and I feel satan right there enticing her.  Now I am singing these words as my prayer to God for her. The oppression was so strong, the prescensce of evil was so prevalent. I felt like I was fighting for her life. 

 

You hear me when I call

You are my morning song

Though darkness fills the night

It cannot hide the light

Whom shall I fear

You crush the enemy

Underneath my feet

You are my sword and shield

Though troubles linger still

Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me

I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever

He is a friend of mine

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

My strength is in Your name

For You alone can save

You will deliver me

Yours is the victory

Whom shall I fear

Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me

I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever

He is a friend of mine

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

And nothing formed against me shall stand

You hold the whole world in Your hands

I'm holding on to Your promises

You are faithful

You are faithful

And nothing formed against me shall stand

You hold the whole world in Your hands

I'm holding on to Your promises

You are faithful

You are faithful

You are faithful

I know who goes before me

I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever

He is a friend of mine

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

I know who goes before me

I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever

He is a friend of mine

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

I found myself singing these words with emphasis....praying her name....changing the words just a little to become a prayer, begging God to spare her. To save her.  

Then we took communion.  I found myself taking the bread and the cup and lifting them back up to God and saying " Lord may they know that this bread that represents Your body is for them also.  And this juice representing Your blood, was shed for them also.  No matter how bad she thinks she is or how awful the things she has done....You are calling for Your child to accept Your forgiveness".  So now I am crying again and we sing this song.....and again I start praying it as a specific pray for my new friend. 

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

This event was so real, the vision was so real.  I was exhausted.  I felt like I had been in a battle.  It hurt me so much for this mom, that I actually found the preachers phone number and texted during church to make sure that this mom was still alive.  

Again I have never had such a huge burden and oppression hit me for someone like this with specificity. And I am not sure why I felt the need to share this event, except maybe someone else needs to know that: no matter how bad your past or your past mistakes, the only step under consideration is the very next step.....and without God in your corner, (accepting Him as The Lord of your life, asking for forgiveness of yours sins, and repenting), success over the shame and guilt will NOT be achieved. You will stay in the cycle of "letting life happen", and you will not be free from your addiction.  

Roulette....the house always wins

My phone rang at 10:53pm, Hello I said.  The voice on the other end said "did you hear the news"?

I met her in a jail cell.  Her charges?, they don't matter.  What matters is that if you stopped long enough to see "her", not her lifestyle but her, you  could tell, she was empty and void of life.  She was full though, at the same time.  She was full of shame and guilt because of her lifestyle. 

I had great hopes for her, but she was closed off.  She had been hurt one too many times. The road of life and disappointments had made her callous to what I had to say. 

As class started, she talked about her job and the fact that she liked the attention. She could tell me every gift she had gotten from every ministry that walked through the doors of her work. 

This was her hope.  She knew she would never measure up to "those peoples" expectations, and  with shame and guilt being her guides, why even try? 

She was transferred to another jail, released on bond, and was due to start a program the next week.  But because her identity was wrapped up in attention and shame and guilt were her guides, she wanted one last horrah, before her freedom, as she saw it, was taken. 

"Just one more time", she would say. 

Now today her body will be laid to rest.  I can not tell you how many people say, as they are sitting across from me in a jail cell: I just wanted to do ______________,one more time."

Our human need, our selfish need is to, do what we want with no regard to the consequence. 

The world is Satan's playground and he gets people caught up in the thrill of "just one more"...... 

A game a chance, roulette, Russian or otherwise still has the same outcome.....the house always wins. 

So today, stop, take the time to notice the person, not the profession, habit or addiction...take time.  Not the pat answer of "God loves you".    Because right now God is not real to them....the drug is, the attention is, the hurt is, the _____________is.

Road Closed!!! NOT

This past week if you watch my news feed you would have seen this status:

You know that point where you are so tired of praying for God to answer,

and you are trying to be obedient and not go back to the cross where you laid it and pick it up and try to "fix it" yourself....

Yep I am there.

God took me to Haggai earlier this week. Today during my quiet time I was in Haggai 2.  

‘Does anyone remember this house—this Temple—in its former splendor?

How, in comparison, does it look to you now? It must seem like nothing at all! 

But now the Lord says: Be strong, Zerubbabel. Be strong, Jeshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest.

Be strong, all you people still left in the land.

And now get to work, for I am with you, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. 

My Spirit remains among you, just as I promised when you came out of Egypt. So do not be afraid.’

What first hit me was “Does anyone remember this house…. this Temple…. In its former splendor…. Do you remember when you first became a Christ follower?  Were you on fire to tell everyone about what Christ had done for you?  And today what happened to that Former Splendor. Where is that fire today? 

God asks in the next line “How in comparison does it look to you know”?

As real life happens and we don’t get our prayers answered as we see fit… we let the lies start to slip in and we start to think God doesn’t really care about our dreams and prayers. Then to make matters worse, you start hearing of people getting prayers answered and you are wondering; “What did I do wrong?”, “Why did my prayers not get answered?”  “What’s wrong with me?”

And so we allow the Splendor of who God really is… fade.

Some will walk away from the truth because the grass looks greener on the other side (remember though, that grass is being grown over the septic field). Some will try self-medication: shopping, drinking, drugs, changing something to fit in to a society they don’t want to fit in; but some image consultant said that would get them noticed. 

We need to remember even in our darkest days, when the depression overcomes us, the shame of our past and we want to give up, quit or fix it our self and not wait on God…. We need to read the rest of this verse….

Be STRONG and NOW get to work…for I AM is with me…the Spirit was left as a guarantee to guide and direct… DO NOT BE AFRAID!

Self-medicating

This week I have watched families disintegrate due to: infidelity, drugs, alcohol, pornography and much more.

I have taught this week in places where those sitting in front of me have become the expectation of those speaking into their lives.

Then to top the week off I got a not one but two messages that just sent me over the edge.

As we drove home we contemplated going out for a drink and dinner or just going home.  We chose going home.

So oatmeal and a cup of coffee it was. We plopped down on the couch just shaking our heads in disbelief of the week that had just ended.

"Let's just watch a movie", I said.

"Ok".

So I went over to our movie selection and started silently reading the movie titles.  I chose one and put it in the DVD player.

For the next 90 minutes I was lost in a town called "Grady, South Carolina". It's a very small town of about 1 square mile.  As one of the characters says " you can't poop in this town without everyone knowing what color it is".

For 90 minutes I also did not have a care in the world. I was engrossed in someone else's make believe world of Hollywood.

As the movie ended my pain came back.  The remembering of all the things that had happened this past 5 hours let alone all week. But as I googled Grady South Carolina, I found out the town never existed.  It actually was another town in another state, re-named to make a movie. There was no hope of ever finding this town to have this blissful feeling in real life.

Then it hit me as I longed to go back into that movie and get lost again.....how easy it is to "self-medicate".

People get caught up in this cycle called life's pain, bumps and bruises.  And depending on those around them could very well start their self- medicating that will end with an addiction to drugs and alcohol.  If they are a recluse or feel they can not share, then their addiction could become cutting, pornography or even food.

Last night I really felt that God gave me a glimpse into self-medicating for a couple of reasons.
1) To better understand those we work with
2) To understand how easy it is

The challenge becomes for those who see their only hope is in self-medication to make the pain go away, because that's what the world sells:  hope in sex, hope in attention, hope in drugs/alcohol, hope in money, hope in a different destination.

I wanted the pain of this week to go away so bad that I wanted to lose myself.  Lucky for me my hope is not in my week but a God who allows weeks like this so that I become more and more dependent upon Him and not myself.

My hope is in the One who made this awesome sunset...

No Shower will ever be enough

So why are you here?

Why did you not go to the church?

Her answer: the church doors were locked and I did not know how to get in.  I could see people walking around, but no one heard my silent cries for help.

Why did you not knock harder?

Her answer: I didn't want to be rejected.  I've been rejected for so long by people, that I was afraid to be rejected by God.

Church wake up..these buildings are to be a safe place, a place of refuge 7 days a week.

We are  group of hurting people fear of rejection.  Church please don't reject us also.  Open your doors.  Open your doors and walk with us.  Don't condemn us, we can do that on our own.  Don't look at us with those eyes; you know those eyes that tell us we don't fit in.  We know we don't, you don't have to judge us too, we already feel dirty enough. No shower will ever be enough.  The stank, we have created by our choices, you remind us that it will always be there by the way you walk to the other side of the hallway or sidewalk.

We just need someone to hold us and tell us they love us without expecting anything in return.

We need someone to walk with us in relationship that isn't afraid to get our stink on them.  That stench we smell, that permeates our skin because we've  worn it for so long.....

***If you are this person in this story, please know that Jesus, has not and will not reject you. If you are afraid of being rejected but need someone to talk to please reach out.***

Catch 22

The truth is......

Most of the men and women we work with are not considered law abiding citizens.

Let me give you an example of a catch 22.

A lady gets out of jail and we are working diligently with her to get a job.  She says she has an old friend that can help and given some of her circumstances we say ok.

After working a few days we start asking questions because he has already helped her and we need his help again.

She stalls and avoids the questioning, finally she comes out and tells us that he is expecting payment for helping.  Sexual payment.  Now I am connecting the dots.  He used to be her pimp.

Ok so lets find a new way...

When you are out trying to do things right it takes a while to reprogram "debilitating mentalities".  All the while you are trying to change you still have to fight daily the demons of your past that don't want you to have a better future.

Today I wake up to a message that things have gone badly.  She thought she was going to a friends that was safe ( usually safe for those we work with means you did not use with them, have sex with them or any other illegal activity with them, even though they do that, you just never did it with them). Well someone else also came over and he held her hostage, raped her and beat her.

For most, the logical choice is to call the police.

But not so much for those who are just NOW becoming law abiding citizens.

You see somewhere in their mind of demons and debilitating mentalities.... She is hearing....

"You did something to deserve this"

"No one will believe you because you're just a prostitute".

"You call the police, they won't believe you, look at your rap sheet".

So the truth is..... Trying to change takes a new village.  It takes lots of "healthy people", walking daily and not judging.

The hardest part in walking with someone is to know when "their excuses" are just an excuse to not change, because change is hard and brings responsibility and they are not ready for the success that change will bring.

And the second thing is when walking with someone and they "slip up, relapse, go to their old behaviors"... To not judge so harshly that you say "screw this, you're not worth my time", and walk away.  Your relationship may change, but we don't add to the shame by saying "I new you'd mess up.  I knew you couldn't do it".  That does not help anyone get healthy.

How do you expect to stay clean if you keep playing in the mud?

I was sent a video this morning and he made a statement " you'll never get clean by walking through mud" my re-write is:  " how do you expect to stay clean if you keep playing in the mud".

It went right along with some marinating thoughts I have been having this past couple of weeks.

As I  have been on Facebook, posts from women and young girls have been catching my attention as I have been asking God to show me what it is that breaks His heart.  These girls seem to think vulgar language, having sex with this guy or that guy, going to this party or that party is what life is all about.  Then they show off pictures of their new outfits, that look like they were actually bought for their child. They go on to say how awesome last night was... then 2 days later "how dare they? Oh No they didn't! Just wait til.....

My question is when will they be sick and tired of being sick and tired.  When will they want a life that has meaning not just in the moment but next year or the year after that or heck... 50 years from now?

What will it be that shows them that there is more to life than just the next night of sex or getting drunk?

When will they stop to look long enough in the mirror and ask: What legacy am I leaving for my children?

When will they stop long enough to say "I am worth more than a night of whatever passion, with whoever just to fulfill that empty feeling".

That empty feeling that will then be fulfilled for 9 months while they are carrying the child to term.  But with no regard to the life that will be relying on you for the next 18 years, they still continue in their lifestyle and they'll worry about it when the time comes. And for some the time has come and they still don't seem care.  They are still trying to figure out how to find love.

And the life they brought into this world unfortunately will not be seen as a burden.

That life will not bring you the happiness you are looking for, nor will the guy who helped create it. If you are lucky he will pay child support, but he didn't stay around for the other children he has running around why will he stay for you?  What makes you any different?  You gave him what he wanted now you get to live with.... well if you are lucky all you get out of the deal is a child.

When will enough be enough.  Why do you think a weekend fling will be the difference this time for you to find love and fulfillment?

If you want someone to truly respect and love you....then you first need to love and respect yourself.  

Year in Review with Brothers Pizza

This is extra long but I have posted lately about my Pollyanna Attitude and now that 2013 is over and 2014 is a new year with a new outlook I thought you might want to read the truth about last year and the struggles and triumphs.  I think I have grown more as a leader and as a person in the past 13 months and may God get all the glory becuase without Him, I can truthfully say I would not have been here today to write this blog. 

In November of 2012, I was having lunch with a single mom at Brothers Pizza. While there I was talking with management.  I wanted to talk with them about creating a partnership where we (Against the Grain's 180 Program) could bring in clients to work and train to help them get back into the world of work.  I was quickly met with "that would be a great idea BUT, the Pizza place is for sale".

I called my husband and he called the owner, (Rob used to work there when the economy had started to tank). The meeting was set.  We started to pray and we sat down with our Board of Directors.

Within 2 months Against the Grain was now the proud owners of a Pizza Restaurant.

December 30th we have a staff meeting and explain what will be taking place on January 1st. One teen is playing on his phone all meeting long and is overheard after the meeting stating "does this mean now we have to work"? He no showed, no called all that week, we figured he quit".

January 1st  came and we walked in.  Staff standing everywhere. No one in the restaurant but a full staff, we quickly explain "you have time to lean, you have time to clean".  The store started to take shape after a week of DEEP cleaning. 

One day we walked in unannounced and had a female who was pregnant doing her community service...she was cleaning and items had to be moved.  There was a very able bodied teenager working also, his back was to the restaurant and he was watching TV.  Needless to say, he did not have a job much longer, he did not like the fact that we told him if he was on the clock he would be working NOT watching TV. 

This last year had many more downs than ups.  I was going through the journal I started keeping 9 days into owning the restaurant.

January 9th says: Lord I am starting this in Jan 9 because the waves are getting harder and faster. I am drowning and I need you to hold me please. I feel like I could quit swimming at anytime, give up and just drown.

January 10.... You covered me with angles so that they took the blows and protected me from the rushing waves.  Any surfer would have been ecstatic to ride the waves that have hit me over the past 10 days. But Lord, You are the Great I Am and You came to my rescue when I finally called.

January 11...Lord did the books yesterday and we need a miracle.  This restaurant actually costing lots of money.  We thought it was a self sustaining restaurant.....this first month is killing me so I lay it down at Your feet and ask for You,my Daddy to take care of it please.

January 12.... Lord thank you for showing us a vision of what can happen at the Pizza place.

January 14... Oh Lord....today I am NOT going to look at the waves. I am going to look at the finished project. ...Lord you are greater than the waves.  Thank you Lord for the waves obeying you.

My prayers everyday were of Help... Lord what did I do.... Also my not so favorite saying became "we'll just figure it out". But then along with I'm drowning, the prayers were thank you for another day.  Thank you for this person or that person being able to get a  job.  Thank you for placing this person at our front door they just needed to feel validated today. 

So fast forward to 2014 and my self reflection of my Pollyanna View of life.  I create most of my drama in my life by not clearly thinking things through all the way.  I see in my head how perfect it should be but I don't allow myself to see the what if this happens or what if that happens.

Running a restaurant is a full time job. The thing is that neither Rob nor I even after putting in Thousands and I mean thousands of hours...have never been paid a penny.  Our staff gets paid, we pay our suppliers and the first year we had to repair:  the air conditioning 3x's (the last time was the biggest expense we had to replace major parts) we had to fix our walk-in refrigerator  3x's ( the first was an easy fix, the second was an all day affair with multiple phone calls and trips to get the parts to make it work). The third time one of the parts under warranty was faulty so we just paid for labor but again very costly. Then two of the three refrigeration units we have up front went out.  We pay over $1000 a month for utilities not including rent.

I say this for a couple of reasons:  one we have had many people say things to us in regards to "we'll you sure are making big bucks now", or "I guess you won't have to worry about getting paid".  I wanted to set that straight first of all.  And second of all we are here to help people find dignity in themselves via the 180 Program and work.  Yes some of the people that come through our doors may not have the best education nor up bringing...but if Jesus can die for them then I can help by giving them job skills and self dignity to start the process of re-entering society.  Last year just at the pizzeria we had 35 people go through the program and 34 have jobs and 4 have promotions and keys to stores. 

We have lost customers and we have heard things like "they employ jail birds so we will NEVER eat there again."  This hurts me because without people giving people a second, third or fourth chance.....we will be a sad excuse for a society.  

We started Against the Grain as a call on our lives to help people right here in the US, starting in Middle TN find dignity and find self worth Jesus style. We are Stateside Missionaries and rely on donations to Against the Grain to provide for salaries and the running of programs. 

Thank you to everyone who have and continue to support the work of AtG via the 180 Program, Brothers Pizza or tutoring a child.

If you would like more information about becoming involved at the Restaurant, teaching the 180 Program, becoming an accountability partner or tutoring a child please contact us:  info@atghope.org

Brothers Pizza 615-791-8383

AtG office 615-791-7885

Put on your happy face ...we're going to church

As she walked down the sidewalk the sounds of vehicles engines permeated the arctic blast that found its way to the South.  Hurrying across the street she contemplated a tall, decaf, peppermint soy mocha, but as she walked up to  the door she second guessed herself.  What would he say? Would he ask why she felt the need to spend $5 on that stupid drink?  

The two boys were still sitting outside on the sidewalk trying to get people to say hi or at least smile.  She didn't feel like smiling. She felt like screaming. Tomorrow was church and she would have put on her happy, everything is ok face.


If you happen to read this before you go to church in the morning.... Watch for this girl... She may be 15, 25 or 55....

Romans 12...don't just pretend to love others...really love them.  

Church is to be a safe place.  Ask God to make you aware of your surroundings and watch for the hurting people that are sitting in the pew next to you. Pray for them and maybe, just maybe through your touch tomorrow they will feel the presence of The Lord.

Ask God to use you.  

Do you continue to wrap yourself around the tree?

Today, while teaching I used the following analogy to explain the cycle of letting life happen.  Pretend you are a dog tied to a tree. There is a squirrel that knows exactly where your rope ends, so he stays just to the outside of your reach but gets you to start going in circles and you get wrapped around the tree.  Now your owner sees that you are wrapped around the tree and comes to untangle you. Round and round you go.

You lay there minding your own business and once again the squirrel comes and gets you to start the chase again and before you know it you are right back against the trunk of the tree, stuck. Your owner, seeing you are stuck, once again comes and gets you untangled from the tree.

It's not until your owner actually leaves you wrapped around the tree for a while, will you be receptive to CHANGE.


And if you want change bad enough, answer these two questions and then make the necessary changes.

What is your squirrel?

And who is it in your life that makes those excuses for you and gets you "untangled"?

I Wanna Do It

"I wanna do it".

"I do it all by myself"

These are statements made by 2,3 and 4 year old as they get older and want to attempt simple acts like getting dressed or even feeding themselves.

When dealing with a group of people that my husband in his seminars* calls the "don'ts", we treat them as the "cant's" (another phrase my husband uses in his seminars).

Let me explain.

As your child grows up, you go from dressing them (because they CAN'T), to teaching them to dress themselves. "Left arm, right arm, left foot, right foot." Slowly you raise your child to become a  productive member of society.

Sometimes as parents we think its faster and easier just to do it for ourselves instead of allowing a child to finish a task we asked them to do, (this creates the group called WONT'S).

The challenge comes when we take this mentality into working with the population group called "DONT'S.

 "Relationship building" takes time, instead we just "DO".  We then make people, who really want to be taught, feel like charity cases, so therefore they become a "won't", because we do a good job at just giving instead of investing.

So next time you want want to give money or gifts....ask yourself... "What if I invested in this person through a relationship, would they be able to help themselves?"  If the answer is yes....then ask God what would he rather you do....walk with this person, or continue to throw money at the person?  Because your answer if you are a Christian comes with answering what would Jesus do?

Consider joining us this Saturday to become an accountability partner for a man, woman, or teen.... Who wants a relationship that is healthy to walk with them as they break free from destructive life cycles.

***for more information about the seminar called "Breaking the Broken" please contact Rob@atghope.org****

Lie, cheat, disrespect

This morning I saw a post that said:

Being single is much better than being 

lied to

Cheated on

And disrespected

That post made me say "thank you to my creator".  Because on a daily basis IF we are honest with ourselves we

Lie

Cheat

And disrespect Him

How do we lie?
We go to church on Sunday and have a great time and during communion we say "yes God this week will be better.... I will rely on you for strength to say no to my sinful desires that still hold me in bondage and yes to more time in the Word with You Lord guiding me"

And Monday night comes, the phone rings, and you hear God saying, " you promised it would be You and me tonight". Looking at your Bible sitting next to the chair, you whisper, later....you don't understand I've been waiting for this________________ for a long time.   You close the door and walk away, and into.....

CHEATING!

The desires of me are so strong when I am going it alone.  I know Lord I said, no more clothes, no more make up, no more buying ___________ to make me feel good, but God, don't you understand how good this will make me feel......

How is this cheating?  Anything we put before God to find our self worth....is an idol.... And that is a no no...

DISRESPECT

God made you and me.  We disrespect HIM and HIS love for us when we try EVERYTHING: sex, drugs, money, clothes, cars, houses,work, ________________, for our happiness.

But why do I have to say thank you even though I do these things: because HE still would rather be in relationship with me than be single.

 
Now here is the disclaimer:

God blatantly asks that when we choose to become a follower that we do some heart change.  So these things: lying, cheating and being disrespectful are no longer a lifestyle. We do not choose to live this way any longer because we have a new focus.  But as I have said before Satan and sin is beautiful, it has to be, to be enticing, BUT the aftermath is not so pretty. So remember this:

Romans 12:2 don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. 

Labels

Labels?
This has been a constant theme running through my head since before the New Year.

Starting a New Year with resolutions it's easy to start the mental process of Who am I?

So I started a list of my labels that I wear now, and very quickly I came up with over 20.   Reading over my list I realized that I let some of the negative ones define me more than the good. I also realized that some of these labels have been put on me by others.

But I also realize that I let people put labels on me especially negative ones if my self- esteem is not where it needed to be.

So very quickly make a list of labels that you carry around. The labels that you are carrying around are they good, bad, depends on the minute?

But I need you to hear me...there is only ONE label...read that again...there is only ONE label that matters.
The rest of the labels need to be filtered through this label...

That label is "Child of God" or some may have written "son/daughter of the King".  

1 John 3:1-3 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.  Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.  All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.

So your job this week is to rid yourself of allowing the labels you have allowed or even placed on yourself, and work on allowing the label "child of God" define who you are and what you are about.

If you see me do you see HIM

Today Mark 5 will be our scripture. 

They went across the lake to the region of the Gerasenes. When Jesus got out of the boat, a man with an impure spirit came from the tombs to meet him. This man lived in the tombs, and no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain. For he had often been chained hand and foot, but he tore the chains apart and broke the irons on his feet. No one was strong enough to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and in the hills he would cry out and cut himself with stones.

When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and fell on his knees in front of him.  He shouted at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? In God’s name don’t torture me!” For Jesus had said to him, “Come out of this man, you impure spirit!”Then Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”

“My name is Legion,” he replied, “for we are many.” And he begged Jesus again and again not to send them out of the area.A large herd of pigs was feeding on the nearby hillside. The demons begged Jesus, “Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them.”  He gave them permission, and the impure spirits came out and went into the pigs. The herd, about two thousand in number, rushed down the steep bank into the lake and were drowned.

 Those tending the pigs ran off and reported this in the town and countryside, and the people went out to see what had happened.  When they came to Jesus, they saw the man who had been possessed by the legion of demons, sitting there, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. Those who had seen it told the people what had happened to the demon-possessed man—and told about the pigs as well. Then the people began to plead with Jesus to leave their region. As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him. Jesus did not let him, but said, “Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” So the man went away and began to tell in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him. And all the people were amazed.

So what's in this for us:

What has Jesus done for you? Has he taken away an addiction? Changed your attitude about yourself so you don't keep getting into abusive relationships? Or for right now in your walk with The Lord, all you can say is that He has entered your heart and you will spend eternity with Him because He died to take away your sin. 

Wherever you are in your walk....new or old.... What have you done with what He has done for you?

The man who HAD been demon-possessed wanted to go with Jesus....but what was Jesus's response: As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him. Jesus did not let him, but said, “Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.

Jesus said "I need for you to go back to town and show and tell".  Why? The answer is a few verses back: Those who had seen it told the people what had happened to the demon-possessed man—and told about the pigs as well. Then the people began to plead with Jesus to leave their region.

The townspeople were scared and didn't want Jesus in their town. But Jesus knew they needed what He had to offer, so he left a person who could testify as to what Jesus had done for him.

Do you testify?  Is your life a living,walking testimony or

1)    Are you hiding your faith because you are afraid what people will say?

2)    Are you walking around defeated because God answered part of your prayer but not all or not as you wanted it to be answered...so you are angry?

If God has done ANYTHING for you...just even one little thing....then you need to be like this man that Jesus left in his town to testify.