May they stay alive long enough

In the past 24 hours, I have heard these words not once but twice "may they stay alive long enough...."

Living in denial that an addiction is not serious goes like this....

"I can stop ________when I want and it only affects me".

When you believe this then you find out real fast that, that is a lie that Satan uses to keep you in your state of being addicted. Let me show you.

When you say I can stop ____________whenever I want: you keep doing whatever it is you are doing.

Your belief becomes that you are in control so therefore you don't need help.

You end up going through your day and week and longer, just trying to get through until.....

Your actions then become ___________________. You quit going to work, you lose your friends, you ________.

Then your life starts to fall apart because you.....end up in jail, become homeless, and worse case....you end up 6 feet under.

Now some may say being 6 feet under would be the best case, then I don't have to deal with life (code word for consequences).  I want you to hear me when I say....dealing with your consequences will be a piece of cake when you get to the other side of your living in denial and start taking the needed steps to get healthy and becoming responsible.  Why do I say that?   Because  YOU are worth living a life worthy of what God wants you to be. You may not be able to see it right now, but I know the God I serve.  He is a loving and caring God but  I also know He is a jealous God, who wants all100% all 100% of the time.

My favorite quote is "God makes NO junk".

So call me if you are ready to deal with life.

Catch 22

The truth is......

Most of the men and women we work with are not considered law abiding citizens.

Let me give you an example of a catch 22.

A lady gets out of jail and we are working diligently with her to get a job.  She says she has an old friend that can help and given some of her circumstances we say ok.

After working a few days we start asking questions because he has already helped her and we need his help again.

She stalls and avoids the questioning, finally she comes out and tells us that he is expecting payment for helping.  Sexual payment.  Now I am connecting the dots.  He used to be her pimp.

Ok so lets find a new way...

When you are out trying to do things right it takes a while to reprogram "debilitating mentalities".  All the while you are trying to change you still have to fight daily the demons of your past that don't want you to have a better future.

Today I wake up to a message that things have gone badly.  She thought she was going to a friends that was safe ( usually safe for those we work with means you did not use with them, have sex with them or any other illegal activity with them, even though they do that, you just never did it with them). Well someone else also came over and he held her hostage, raped her and beat her.

For most, the logical choice is to call the police.

But not so much for those who are just NOW becoming law abiding citizens.

You see somewhere in their mind of demons and debilitating mentalities.... She is hearing....

"You did something to deserve this"

"No one will believe you because you're just a prostitute".

"You call the police, they won't believe you, look at your rap sheet".

So the truth is..... Trying to change takes a new village.  It takes lots of "healthy people", walking daily and not judging.

The hardest part in walking with someone is to know when "their excuses" are just an excuse to not change, because change is hard and brings responsibility and they are not ready for the success that change will bring.

And the second thing is when walking with someone and they "slip up, relapse, go to their old behaviors"... To not judge so harshly that you say "screw this, you're not worth my time", and walk away.  Your relationship may change, but we don't add to the shame by saying "I new you'd mess up.  I knew you couldn't do it".  That does not help anyone get healthy.

My Heart Breaks For You

My heart breaks as I read statuses, as I look at photos, and read replies.

"Oh, how dare they, they can't do that."

"Oh, don't the both of you look cute".

"Oh what a beautiful child, I am so proud and happy for you".

"Don't they know how much I need a job".

"She'll get hers, I can promise you that".

Following what you want in life is called following the desires of our sinful nature.

Some of the things we do when we are following the world, friends, the crowds, latest fads or trends or when our go to behavior only has our personal satisfaction as its best interest, these following examples can be the result:

sexual immorality: immoral is defined as deliberately violating accepted principles of right and wrong. So put the word sexual in front of that then you have:  deliberately violating sexually accepted principles of right and wrong.

impurity: the quality of being corrupt, no longer being pure

lustful pleasures: lustful is defined as having or showing strong feelings of sexual desire.     Pleasure is defined as a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment. So lustful pleasures is defined as: having or showing strong feelings of sexual desire and getting satisfaction and enjoyment from it.

idolatry: the act of showing respect and love for something and placing it into a higher place even over yourself.

sorcery:  exercising  supernatural powers through the aid of evil spirits; black magic; witchery.

hostility: an unfriendly attitude or action

quarreling: to have an angry argument or disagreement

jealousy: resentment against a rival, or against a person enjoying success.

outbursts of anger: a sudden release of a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.

selfish ambition: to only look out and think about oneself.

dissension: strong disagreement

division: the act of separating into parts

envy: a feeling of discontented because you want someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.

drunkenness: the state of being intoxicated

wild parties: out of control, amazingly out of this world get together's

When we follow the desires of our sinful nature, the results are very clear:

1. Figuring out how to get out of jail
2. Figuring out if the person/people that were with you are even still alive
3. Trying to remember who you were with and what you did
4. 6 weeks later either making the call or being on the receiving end of the call:  "I'm having a baby" or "you're going to be a father".
5. Living up to what you did last weekend
6. 9 months later realizing you are now responsible for this little person for the next 18 years
7. Being controlled by demons and evil spirits
8. Feeling unworthy
9. Feeling dirty
10. Doing illegal activity so you can have what you can't afford because you want what other people have
11. Doing illegal activity just because you aren't willing to do the hard work it takes to make money, save money and provide for yourself and your family

To change, to quit making excuses takes a NEW BEHAVIOR and a NEW DESIRE.

It can be done, but it takes a will power to want to change.

Step 1:You have to first and foremost know who YOU are, and what YOU really want to be.
Step 2: Then you have to surround yourself with people that are like what you want to become.
Step 3: Then you have to repeat step one and two over and over again.

So why does my heart breaks?

 Because I know that the people writing these statuses have more to offer this world.

Anger....don't let it control you.

Don't sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives the devil a foothold.

In today's world we let things get to us and we hold it in.  Those feelings then can turn into anger. Without addressing the actual annoyance, then we allow it to turn into full blown anger.

As we allow our anger to control us we do stupid things.
Maybe it will be as simple as using language not becoming or slamming of doors or throwing of objects.
More serious would be having our hands actually touch another person, an animal or even getting behind the wheel of a vehicle while the anger is in control of us.

As we allow the anger to control our actions and REACTIONS.... We know the outcome will not be good.

Simply you may have to apologize to someone for the language or the slamming of an object, or maybe you will have to fix a door or patch the wall.

But is it really a simple fix?

No, anger does a lot of damage behind the scenes as well, even what I call simple anger.

You will always be wondering; what's going to set that person off today?  And if you are a person who wants revenge and you know the other person is controlled by anger you may intentionally do things to get a rise out of them so that they will go out of control.

Anger is a huge issue as the stress of life gets to us.  You may think you don't have an anger problem....well think about it this way.

If your child interrupts you while you are concentrating on getting an email out or trying to get everyone out the door to a church function.....how do you parent in the moment?

We learn by watching....Monkey see, Monkey do.....

So if you don't like how those around you are acting...maybe it's time to look in the mirror.

We always want the quick fix and the pat answer its not my fault, I would never act like that nor do that.....you are correct you may not have done what they are doing, but it still has the root issue.....ANGER is controlling them instead of US controlling our anger.

Where do I fit in?

You used to think I was cute.  You used to come see me when I was younger.  But now.... 

Where do I fit in? 

You come into my neighborhood to play with the little kids and hold the babies... but what about me?  

I am your age.  I may not have the luxuries that you have nor may I get to leave this neighborhood anytime soon, but what about me?

Do you see me looking out the window?  

I walk out of my house hoping to get invited to play ball or at least asked to join the conversation that's going on, on the sidewalk, but I guess I am invisible, becuase you don't even say "hi". 

Do you even want to get to know me?  

I know who you are, I see you in the hallway at school, but do you see me?

I pass by you and I hear you talking to your friends about the "project" you were involved with over the weekend...do you even see me?

I just want to be your friend, do you want to be mine or will I only and always be a "project"? 

This is not just a problem with teens its also an issue with adults.  My advice is to make sure that when you are reaching out and doing local missions; that a "project" is not your intention but relationship building is your ultimate goal with all ages NOT just the babies and kids. 

How do you expect to stay clean if you keep playing in the mud?

I was sent a video this morning and he made a statement " you'll never get clean by walking through mud" my re-write is:  " how do you expect to stay clean if you keep playing in the mud".

It went right along with some marinating thoughts I have been having this past couple of weeks.

As I  have been on Facebook, posts from women and young girls have been catching my attention as I have been asking God to show me what it is that breaks His heart.  These girls seem to think vulgar language, having sex with this guy or that guy, going to this party or that party is what life is all about.  Then they show off pictures of their new outfits, that look like they were actually bought for their child. They go on to say how awesome last night was... then 2 days later "how dare they? Oh No they didn't! Just wait til.....

My question is when will they be sick and tired of being sick and tired.  When will they want a life that has meaning not just in the moment but next year or the year after that or heck... 50 years from now?

What will it be that shows them that there is more to life than just the next night of sex or getting drunk?

When will they stop to look long enough in the mirror and ask: What legacy am I leaving for my children?

When will they stop long enough to say "I am worth more than a night of whatever passion, with whoever just to fulfill that empty feeling".

That empty feeling that will then be fulfilled for 9 months while they are carrying the child to term.  But with no regard to the life that will be relying on you for the next 18 years, they still continue in their lifestyle and they'll worry about it when the time comes. And for some the time has come and they still don't seem care.  They are still trying to figure out how to find love.

And the life they brought into this world unfortunately will not be seen as a burden.

That life will not bring you the happiness you are looking for, nor will the guy who helped create it. If you are lucky he will pay child support, but he didn't stay around for the other children he has running around why will he stay for you?  What makes you any different?  You gave him what he wanted now you get to live with.... well if you are lucky all you get out of the deal is a child.

When will enough be enough.  Why do you think a weekend fling will be the difference this time for you to find love and fulfillment?

If you want someone to truly respect and love you....then you first need to love and respect yourself.  

Impurities, they do the body good....RIGHT?

 2 years ago I was told that if I wanted to continue to walk that I needed to start watching my diet.  It was found out that my body decided it didn't like gluten, corn,dairy,egg whites, peanuts and all by products, oh yeah and it doesn't like the metal Gold.

When I told my husband I could not wear my wedding rings anymore it actually went like this: " hey honey, my body is now allergic to my wedding rings". That went over like a lead balloon. But Thanksgiving came, and I knew of a place that had real looking costume jewelry, so thank you to everyone who comments on my ring....it was $21 in Gatlinburg.

No back to the real reason  for today's blog...

This past couple of weeks we got a new gluten free pizza crust in that actually crunches when you eat it and  it tastes....phenomenal. Well I was craving a real pizza so I made not one real pizza, but over the past few weeks I made.....well lets say I lost count. Then I had a few dinners and brunches to attend to and tried to eat what I could... But again no self-control and I ate more dairy.  

This past weekend I chose the lesser of all the evils on a menu, so I thought.....and it was not an omelet with regular eggs, it was with only egg whites, and filled with some fancy cheese.

Today I had lunch at a local Restaurant.   I love this restaurant because it has this amazing dip, full of diary. I made the excuse that I brought my own chips and I refused the tortilla, so all should be good....oh yeah did I tell you we asked for a second bowl.  But now...


I made choices, lots of them....I knew that those choices were not the best for me.  Also if you read carefully you will see I made excuses, "the lesser of the evils, it was new and crunched like a pizza so therefore needed the supreme toppings of a pizza, I brought my own chips."


Today if you were any where near me or on the phone you would think this women has bronchitis..... NO in reality this is the consequence I now have to live with for the next week or longer,(should I choose to make even more bad choices).  I feel great, as I don't have any aches or pains, but I now will cough and wheeze for the better of a week as my body gets rid of the impurities I put into it.

But we put impurities in our body everyday. Impurities come through websites, music, people, food, words, and then last but not least we can actually sum it all up to add what I just wrote plus anything else you may think:  our SINFUL desires.

So as you are dealing with the consequences of wrong choices remember that making one right choice then another, then another, will start to get you healthy... And in my case I will stop wheezing and coughing.
Here is a prayer using Galatians 5 as the background:

  Holy Spirit please  guide my life. With You, Holy Spirit in charge I  won’t be doing what my sinful nature craves.  My sinful nature wants me to do evil, which I know  is just the opposite of what You,Holy Spirit wants. And Holy Spirit give me the desires that are the opposite of what my sinful nature desires. Lord I know these two forces are constantly fighting each other, so Holy Spirit I surrender my sinful will  so that  you are free to carry out your good intentions.