Sex for a roof over your head?

She called and said "yes, I am still coming". Waiting patiently I prayed she would come. I really want her to get some new friends. She was late but she came. 

We asked her if she was hungry.  Her response was she really hadn't eaten in a few days, because her stomach was not setting just right.  By the way that is code word for "I need to keep what little money I have for gas in my car, not food in my stomach". 

We took her to lunch our treat. The conversation was light and superficial. It covered topics about how's the new job? How many hours are you getting? 

After dinner was done, she gave me a big hug and said "thank you". 

We all ran for our vehicles as the weather was changing. Settling into ours, my husband said "where is she living"?

With a friend I answered.  He knew by my tone there was more to it than that. "What kind of friend?  And what kind of arrangement?"

I tried to avoid the question because I knew he was not going to like the answer. "She told me the other day that it's an old friend, and she had no where to turn.  He is letting her stay with him, but it's not a good situation and she needs to get out."

"What do you mean it's not a good situation? Does he expect payment?" 

I guess the look on my face told my husband the payment was not of a monetary kind. 

Why do I tell you this story? This happens more than we want to admit. Women get between a rock and a hard place and they finally want to get off the roller coaster....the challenge comes when they try. 

People fail people.  When "Christians" say they want to help...they expect all the behaviors of the past in these women to go away immediately. Reality is, you cannot rid yourself of years of baggage, low self-esteem, low self-confidence,abuse or addictions in a matter of minutes because you have changed the environment. 

Changing the environment is a start, but showing unconditional love through real authentic relationships is long lasting and the hardest to do. 

Most of the women we work with will hurt you, it is a coping mechanism. They will hurt you before you hurt them.  They are used to disappointment and hurt as part of their normal life. 

Also when "Christians" want to help, it's usually on the "Christians" terms.  They don't say it but through actions they are telling the women: "I'm not the one who got myself into this mess, so if you will just do what I say your life will be better." You are correct "Christian" you may not be as bad off:  having to have sex just to pay a bill so your children have food on the table, electricity or a roof over their head... but you have junk in your life just like they do.

It is now February and Christmas is long gone.  This is what trash cans looked like after the "Christians" came to the "rescue" so the child had a very "materialistic" Christmas 

 Where are you today? Do you know where the mom and kids are today that you bestowed all these gifts upon not even 60 days ago? 

I know it's not Christmas and most people have gotten caught back up into the routine of their own life but what about the families you bought gifts for less than 60 days ago? 

What these families need most are "relationships".  Not relationships that bail them out, but relationships that empower them to DESIRE to change so they can one day be a giver not a receiver. 

Let us know if you want to be a change maker? 

Impurities, they do the body good....RIGHT?

 2 years ago I was told that if I wanted to continue to walk that I needed to start watching my diet.  It was found out that my body decided it didn't like gluten, corn,dairy,egg whites, peanuts and all by products, oh yeah and it doesn't like the metal Gold.

When I told my husband I could not wear my wedding rings anymore it actually went like this: " hey honey, my body is now allergic to my wedding rings". That went over like a lead balloon. But Thanksgiving came, and I knew of a place that had real looking costume jewelry, so thank you to everyone who comments on my ring....it was $21 in Gatlinburg.

No back to the real reason  for today's blog...

This past couple of weeks we got a new gluten free pizza crust in that actually crunches when you eat it and  it tastes....phenomenal. Well I was craving a real pizza so I made not one real pizza, but over the past few weeks I made.....well lets say I lost count. Then I had a few dinners and brunches to attend to and tried to eat what I could... But again no self-control and I ate more dairy.  

This past weekend I chose the lesser of all the evils on a menu, so I thought.....and it was not an omelet with regular eggs, it was with only egg whites, and filled with some fancy cheese.

Today I had lunch at a local Restaurant.   I love this restaurant because it has this amazing dip, full of diary. I made the excuse that I brought my own chips and I refused the tortilla, so all should be good....oh yeah did I tell you we asked for a second bowl.  But now...


I made choices, lots of them....I knew that those choices were not the best for me.  Also if you read carefully you will see I made excuses, "the lesser of the evils, it was new and crunched like a pizza so therefore needed the supreme toppings of a pizza, I brought my own chips."


Today if you were any where near me or on the phone you would think this women has bronchitis..... NO in reality this is the consequence I now have to live with for the next week or longer,(should I choose to make even more bad choices).  I feel great, as I don't have any aches or pains, but I now will cough and wheeze for the better of a week as my body gets rid of the impurities I put into it.

But we put impurities in our body everyday. Impurities come through websites, music, people, food, words, and then last but not least we can actually sum it all up to add what I just wrote plus anything else you may think:  our SINFUL desires.

So as you are dealing with the consequences of wrong choices remember that making one right choice then another, then another, will start to get you healthy... And in my case I will stop wheezing and coughing.
Here is a prayer using Galatians 5 as the background:

  Holy Spirit please  guide my life. With You, Holy Spirit in charge I  won’t be doing what my sinful nature craves.  My sinful nature wants me to do evil, which I know  is just the opposite of what You,Holy Spirit wants. And Holy Spirit give me the desires that are the opposite of what my sinful nature desires. Lord I know these two forces are constantly fighting each other, so Holy Spirit I surrender my sinful will  so that  you are free to carry out your good intentions.  

Leading God's way....day 1

Your Character is who you are inside.  So if you are a follower of Jesus what should your character be?

I noticed recently that people talk a great talk to get you to believe a certain way or to follow a certain path...but then you find out that in secret that their character is NOT that at all, actually everything they are telling you, you should not do....they are doing themselves.

So being a leader....we are all leaders.  We may be a leader of a company, small or large.  You may be a leader of a family.  You may be a leader at work (whether you have the title or not). You may be a leader because you have younger brothers or sisters or cousins.  You may be a leader at school.

So what kind of leader do you want to be? If you wish to lead as Jesus did then meditate on this from Matthew.

Lord may I not be the leader that rules in this world by lording it over the people I lead.  Lord may I  not be a leader that  flaunts  my  authority over those under me. But Lord may I lead differently by being your follower first. Lord may I take these words and become this leader: May I lead by becoming a servant. Lord may I remember that even You came not to be served but to serve others and to give Your life as a ransom for many. Thank you Lord for your example.


“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” John Wooden.

Day 7... You are a Masterpiece

Last day....of praying specifically for what does God want from me....

So today may you mediate on Ephesians 2:10 as this prayer

Lord I know that You say in Your word that I am Your masterpiece.  I know that You created me anew in Christ Jesus.  I also know that You created me so that I could do the good things You planned for me long ago.... So Lord I pray that I will stop and listen and move when You tell me to move. Lord may I see myself as a masterpiece created.  Lord when the shame and guilt starts to rise and I start listening to the voices of the past that say I am worthless and especially not a masterpiece may I realize that those are lies from Satan keeping me from doing the good things You Lord planned long ago for me to do. -Amen 

Day 4

 Day 4
So has God spoken to you?

Here is a prayer from James 1 that I wrote...

Oh Lord I need your wisdom,and you say I can ask You for it. Your word says You will give it  generously to all without finding fault.  Lord, You do say though that when I ask   I must believe and not doubt.  Lord you say the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind, Lord I do not want to be that person.  Lord I am expectantly wanting to receive from You my marching orders as to what You want me to do.  Lord I do not want to be a person that  is double-minded and unstable in all I  do. Lord, may I get still before you and listen. Amen

As God is speaking make sure you are listening and obeying....or you might just find out you are more of a double -minded person than you thought. 

Day 3... May I Walk

Day 3

This terrified them and they asked, “What have you done?” (They knew he was running away from the Lord, because he had already told them so.) Jonah 1


When we are praying for God to use us and we run the other way because we don't want to do what He has asked or we think it will "cost" us....

Don't forget all the other people that might get caught up in your aftermath of disobedience.

Day 2...May I Walk

Day 2

Part of this journey will be to pick a day to fast.  Fasting is a time to give up something (food, tv, technology)... No one needs to know what you are doing.... But it is a time that you give up to spend time in specific prayer...getting before your Creator and asking Him to show you what it is that He would have for you to see.  This is also a time to be quiet...ask The Lord to show you and then just listen.

  “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face,  so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.  Matthew 6


But again you need to be willing to follow through.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up James 4

May I walk Day 1

In December my husband spent 4 specific weeks praying and fasting seeking God in 4 different aspects of his life.

For the next 4 weeks if you choose to take the challenge, I will use this blog as a guide.

Week 1 What does God want from me?

Our prayer this week will be:

Lord I am letting go of my preconceived ideas of how I am to serve.  Please open my heart to Your prompting and may I act when You tell me to walk.

Day 1:

The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.” But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish.  Jonah 1


Just let your thoughts go and start to journal as you read the scripture and pray the prayer

Put on your happy face ...we're going to church

As she walked down the sidewalk the sounds of vehicles engines permeated the arctic blast that found its way to the South.  Hurrying across the street she contemplated a tall, decaf, peppermint soy mocha, but as she walked up to  the door she second guessed herself.  What would he say? Would he ask why she felt the need to spend $5 on that stupid drink?  

The two boys were still sitting outside on the sidewalk trying to get people to say hi or at least smile.  She didn't feel like smiling. She felt like screaming. Tomorrow was church and she would have put on her happy, everything is ok face.


If you happen to read this before you go to church in the morning.... Watch for this girl... She may be 15, 25 or 55....

Romans 12...don't just pretend to love others...really love them.  

Church is to be a safe place.  Ask God to make you aware of your surroundings and watch for the hurting people that are sitting in the pew next to you. Pray for them and maybe, just maybe through your touch tomorrow they will feel the presence of The Lord.

Ask God to use you.  

Do you continue to wrap yourself around the tree?

Today, while teaching I used the following analogy to explain the cycle of letting life happen.  Pretend you are a dog tied to a tree. There is a squirrel that knows exactly where your rope ends, so he stays just to the outside of your reach but gets you to start going in circles and you get wrapped around the tree.  Now your owner sees that you are wrapped around the tree and comes to untangle you. Round and round you go.

You lay there minding your own business and once again the squirrel comes and gets you to start the chase again and before you know it you are right back against the trunk of the tree, stuck. Your owner, seeing you are stuck, once again comes and gets you untangled from the tree.

It's not until your owner actually leaves you wrapped around the tree for a while, will you be receptive to CHANGE.


And if you want change bad enough, answer these two questions and then make the necessary changes.

What is your squirrel?

And who is it in your life that makes those excuses for you and gets you "untangled"?

I Wanna Do It

"I wanna do it".

"I do it all by myself"

These are statements made by 2,3 and 4 year old as they get older and want to attempt simple acts like getting dressed or even feeding themselves.

When dealing with a group of people that my husband in his seminars* calls the "don'ts", we treat them as the "cant's" (another phrase my husband uses in his seminars).

Let me explain.

As your child grows up, you go from dressing them (because they CAN'T), to teaching them to dress themselves. "Left arm, right arm, left foot, right foot." Slowly you raise your child to become a  productive member of society.

Sometimes as parents we think its faster and easier just to do it for ourselves instead of allowing a child to finish a task we asked them to do, (this creates the group called WONT'S).

The challenge comes when we take this mentality into working with the population group called "DONT'S.

 "Relationship building" takes time, instead we just "DO".  We then make people, who really want to be taught, feel like charity cases, so therefore they become a "won't", because we do a good job at just giving instead of investing.

So next time you want want to give money or gifts....ask yourself... "What if I invested in this person through a relationship, would they be able to help themselves?"  If the answer is yes....then ask God what would he rather you do....walk with this person, or continue to throw money at the person?  Because your answer if you are a Christian comes with answering what would Jesus do?

Consider joining us this Saturday to become an accountability partner for a man, woman, or teen.... Who wants a relationship that is healthy to walk with them as they break free from destructive life cycles.

***for more information about the seminar called "Breaking the Broken" please contact Rob@atghope.org****

Celebrate Freedom

Everything in time can be measured by Pre or Post.  For me today is one of those days... 3 years ago is a day that changed my life. And I think it is ironic that this year it falls on a very celebrated day, MLK day.

Three years ago started just like today. I got up, got my coffee, was reading my Bible and got ready for work. What I did not know that in just a few short hours life would take a turn that would shake my very core.  It would make me question why I was doing the things I was doing.  Did I care or not to ever help another person, especially in the community I was in, to ever see their self worth as something different or just say "screw you and good luck with that".

Many of you know my story and my journey.  Today, 3 years ago at 11:29am I was beaten up by a lone African American male.  He had no special features of tattoos nor did he smell of cologne nor smoke.  He was just there.  He was never caught.  He still runs the streets and I still have to daily deal with the decision I made to go back and still teach self worth and you can make something of yourself.

Many say I am nuts.  They say they would have quit.

I can't tell you how many times I have wondered "why"? Why do I care.  Then I get told things like:

"Your a good all around teacher, and you make the Bible make sense".- county male inmate 2012

"Because of your class, I have given my life to Christ"- State male inmate 2012

"When I get out I want you to help me start talking to the youth, so they don't make the same mistakes I did" - County inmate 2012

Why do I write those quotes.... Because based upon the description of the man who beat me up and left me with NO FEELING still to this day in my face.... 2 out of 3 could be him.

I have to deal with the fact that at any given time this man could come up to me in a class and say "it was me".

Also last week that percentage increased seeing we started classes in DCSO, the same county where the attack to place, Davidson County.

So why do I do this, it's definitely not for the pay, because I do not get a paycheck.
I do this because Satan meant for this to be bad, BUT God....is using it for good.   And at the time, I definitely did not want to hear scripture from well meaning Christians: "well you know, all things work together for those who love Him". Then in the next breath "I can't believe you are going back to teach".

But if you know my life verse and put it with 3 more verses you will know why I go back.

My life verse is:

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10

Now put that with these scriptures:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose Romans 8:28

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth Acts 1:8

The hardest thing I had to deal with a year later was to realize that it could happen again and again and again, BUT God gave me Acts 1:8 on New Years 2012 and said re- read and study that word "witness".  So I did and it means "martyr, up to death".
I realized that by freeing men, women and youth from the bondage of Satan, meant I had a bulls-eye on my back.  Are you a threat to the work of Satan?

Then we have the Great Commission

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.    Matthew 28: 19-20

So today as I celebrate being alive and being given the opportunity to serve God even more...

What is it that God is asking of you, but you are allowing fear to stop you, because it might get messy?



 

Lie, cheat, disrespect

This morning I saw a post that said:

Being single is much better than being 

lied to

Cheated on

And disrespected

That post made me say "thank you to my creator".  Because on a daily basis IF we are honest with ourselves we

Lie

Cheat

And disrespect Him

How do we lie?
We go to church on Sunday and have a great time and during communion we say "yes God this week will be better.... I will rely on you for strength to say no to my sinful desires that still hold me in bondage and yes to more time in the Word with You Lord guiding me"

And Monday night comes, the phone rings, and you hear God saying, " you promised it would be You and me tonight". Looking at your Bible sitting next to the chair, you whisper, later....you don't understand I've been waiting for this________________ for a long time.   You close the door and walk away, and into.....

CHEATING!

The desires of me are so strong when I am going it alone.  I know Lord I said, no more clothes, no more make up, no more buying ___________ to make me feel good, but God, don't you understand how good this will make me feel......

How is this cheating?  Anything we put before God to find our self worth....is an idol.... And that is a no no...

DISRESPECT

God made you and me.  We disrespect HIM and HIS love for us when we try EVERYTHING: sex, drugs, money, clothes, cars, houses,work, ________________, for our happiness.

But why do I have to say thank you even though I do these things: because HE still would rather be in relationship with me than be single.

 
Now here is the disclaimer:

God blatantly asks that when we choose to become a follower that we do some heart change.  So these things: lying, cheating and being disrespectful are no longer a lifestyle. We do not choose to live this way any longer because we have a new focus.  But as I have said before Satan and sin is beautiful, it has to be, to be enticing, BUT the aftermath is not so pretty. So remember this:

Romans 12:2 don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. 

Pride?

Tonights blog is actually very short and sweet or may be hard to swallow... We all have our favorite verses here is a well known one:

1 Corinthians 10:13 is a well known scripture that we quote, The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure

Now look at the verse prior:  look at verse 12
If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall.

Pride is a huge mountain to fall off of.

He Chose Me...

I remember being a young girl and picking up  wild Daisy flowers and picking the petals one by one...he loves, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not....
As I was driving myself to work yesterday morning I was looking at all God had made and done, I was reminded...He Chose me.

I did not choose God in the beginning, but He in His infinite wisdom, wooed me and called me.....He chose me....

Ephesians 1:4-5 Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.

Ephesians 1:13-14 And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago.  The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him


But I had a job to do in this...I had to accept the proposal:

Romans 10: 9-10 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.


Is God choosing you today? Is He asking you to make a commitment for the first time? Or  a commitment to go deeper in your walk with Him?

Talk to Him....He's real easy to talk to...I promise.

Shame on....

People who are Christians use pat answers, take scripture out of context to make their point.  But they also use scripture to shame you.

I wasn't a bad kid or a bad teen mom, but it just seemed that I was constantly given the label " not good enough".

The shame that came from being looked at differently from church people when they did the math in their heads and realized I was pregnant on the day of our wedding, ( I'll save you the suspense, I was 5 months along). 

Now, not being a bad person: but yet it always seemed church people were saying" well you know the bible says, you're not supposed to have sex before marriage, you're not supposed to do this or that".

I think it's funny that I never heard this part of the scripture:

1 Corinthians 5:9-11

When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin.  But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer  yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.

So my charge to you today is to re-look  at your life ( if you call yourself a Christian)with the backdrop of 1 Corinthians before you shame a non- believer for the things they do.

If you see me do you see HIM

Today Mark 5 will be our scripture. 

They went across the lake to the region of the Gerasenes. When Jesus got out of the boat, a man with an impure spirit came from the tombs to meet him. This man lived in the tombs, and no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain. For he had often been chained hand and foot, but he tore the chains apart and broke the irons on his feet. No one was strong enough to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and in the hills he would cry out and cut himself with stones.

When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and fell on his knees in front of him.  He shouted at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? In God’s name don’t torture me!” For Jesus had said to him, “Come out of this man, you impure spirit!”Then Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”

“My name is Legion,” he replied, “for we are many.” And he begged Jesus again and again not to send them out of the area.A large herd of pigs was feeding on the nearby hillside. The demons begged Jesus, “Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them.”  He gave them permission, and the impure spirits came out and went into the pigs. The herd, about two thousand in number, rushed down the steep bank into the lake and were drowned.

 Those tending the pigs ran off and reported this in the town and countryside, and the people went out to see what had happened.  When they came to Jesus, they saw the man who had been possessed by the legion of demons, sitting there, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. Those who had seen it told the people what had happened to the demon-possessed man—and told about the pigs as well. Then the people began to plead with Jesus to leave their region. As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him. Jesus did not let him, but said, “Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” So the man went away and began to tell in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him. And all the people were amazed.

So what's in this for us:

What has Jesus done for you? Has he taken away an addiction? Changed your attitude about yourself so you don't keep getting into abusive relationships? Or for right now in your walk with The Lord, all you can say is that He has entered your heart and you will spend eternity with Him because He died to take away your sin. 

Wherever you are in your walk....new or old.... What have you done with what He has done for you?

The man who HAD been demon-possessed wanted to go with Jesus....but what was Jesus's response: As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him. Jesus did not let him, but said, “Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.

Jesus said "I need for you to go back to town and show and tell".  Why? The answer is a few verses back: Those who had seen it told the people what had happened to the demon-possessed man—and told about the pigs as well. Then the people began to plead with Jesus to leave their region.

The townspeople were scared and didn't want Jesus in their town. But Jesus knew they needed what He had to offer, so he left a person who could testify as to what Jesus had done for him.

Do you testify?  Is your life a living,walking testimony or

1)    Are you hiding your faith because you are afraid what people will say?

2)    Are you walking around defeated because God answered part of your prayer but not all or not as you wanted it to be answered...so you are angry?

If God has done ANYTHING for you...just even one little thing....then you need to be like this man that Jesus left in his town to testify.