We asked her if she was hungry. Her response was she really hadn't eaten in a few days, because her stomach was not setting just right. By the way that is code word for "I need to keep what little money I have for gas in my car, not food in my stomach".
We took her to lunch our treat. The conversation was light and superficial. It covered topics about how's the new job? How many hours are you getting?
After dinner was done, she gave me a big hug and said "thank you".
We all ran for our vehicles as the weather was changing. Settling into ours, my husband said "where is she living"?
With a friend I answered. He knew by my tone there was more to it than that. "What kind of friend? And what kind of arrangement?"
I tried to avoid the question because I knew he was not going to like the answer. "She told me the other day that it's an old friend, and she had no where to turn. He is letting her stay with him, but it's not a good situation and she needs to get out."
"What do you mean it's not a good situation? Does he expect payment?"
I guess the look on my face told my husband the payment was not of a monetary kind.
Why do I tell you this story? This happens more than we want to admit. Women get between a rock and a hard place and they finally want to get off the roller coaster....the challenge comes when they try.
People fail people. When "Christians" say they want to help...they expect all the behaviors of the past in these women to go away immediately. Reality is, you cannot rid yourself of years of baggage, low self-esteem, low self-confidence,abuse or addictions in a matter of minutes because you have changed the environment.
Changing the environment is a start, but showing unconditional love through real authentic relationships is long lasting and the hardest to do.
Most of the women we work with will hurt you, it is a coping mechanism. They will hurt you before you hurt them. They are used to disappointment and hurt as part of their normal life.
Also when "Christians" want to help, it's usually on the "Christians" terms. They don't say it but through actions they are telling the women: "I'm not the one who got myself into this mess, so if you will just do what I say your life will be better." You are correct "Christian" you may not be as bad off: having to have sex just to pay a bill so your children have food on the table, electricity or a roof over their head... but you have junk in your life just like they do.
It is now February and Christmas is long gone. This is what trash cans looked like after the "Christians" came to the "rescue" so the child had a very "materialistic" Christmas 
Where are you today? Do you know where the mom and kids are today that you bestowed all these gifts upon not even 60 days ago?
I know it's not Christmas and most people have gotten caught back up into the routine of their own life but what about the families you bought gifts for less than 60 days ago?
What these families need most are "relationships". Not relationships that bail them out, but relationships that empower them to DESIRE to change so they can one day be a giver not a receiver.
Let us know if you want to be a change maker?
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